The Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Since 1995!
Squeaky-Clean Entries from March, 1998
Few and Far Between
My deductions I find are not lawful
Of taxes I sure have a crawful
Should have first got the facts--
Now I'll just pay the tax
But isn't this limerick just awful!
The poet comments, "Wonderful??? Guess you could say that. Toast Point asks where I've been.
Busy, busy, busy. Too busy to make up good limericks, it seems."
Ystap writes 03/31/98
The Prez, with his wife on safari,
Taking pictures in darkest Dhaktari,
To a rhino, with a wink, said,
"What do you think, Ted?
Oh, you're not Kennedy!, I'm so sorry!"
The poet comments, "Family resemblance??"
Sandra A. Merlini writes 03/31/98
Joseph Horton Schwartz, III, A Polo Player
Twas a player who rode a grey horse
Who was gelded and played like a cross
Between dam and a sire
With the spirit of fire
Who loved him and he never did toss.
A seismologist, describing a quake
Said, "Everything started to shake."
His words, unterrific,
Were not scientific,
But those were the words that he spake.
There was once a vampire named Dracula,
Whose habits exceeded spectacular.
For after he made his kill,
And finished his meal.
He would scrape the blood with a spatula!!!
Beelzebub writes 03/30/98
A kindly old midwife named Mavis
Was an expert delivering babies;
And, having done this,
She gave each one a kiss
And a virulent new strain of rabies.
Ystap writes 03/30/98
The populus shouted, "Hail, Caesar!"
But what if they knew this old geezer
Ran 'round in his toga,
Not practicing yoga,
But pinching the Vestals with a tweezer?
The poet comments, "Ancient harrassment???"
Enjoying a trip on "Titanic" -
If only 'twere more Puritanic!
Might have lasted more hours -
After all, the Mayflower's
Famous voyage was transoceanic!
Monique de Plume writes 03/28/98
There once was an engine that could
Run smoothly on coal or on wood.
It chugged up a grade--
Thought we had it made
'Til it slowed to a halt and just stood.
Hey, Monique, where ya bin?
Beelzebub writes 03/27/98
His sister had kept a cool head
On finding the snake in her bed;
He didn't lose heart,
But next night put a part
Of their dear father in there instead.
The poet comments, "Kids! Try this in YOUR family!"
Toast Point reminds the kiddies to consider the source.
Mr. Gock lived on beefsteak so tough
That one day, having suffered enough,
His salivary glands
Fled to far distant lands,
And his stomach walked out in a huff.
There was a poor man called Magee
With a peg-leg about 2 foot 3
He stood by a log
When up came a dog
And mistook him somehow for a tree!
Such wisdom that comes from the Sage
Would suggest that he's from the Stone Age.
His age ends in three,
Of a year that's A. D.
But I'll bet that you can't guess his age.
Nor would he want you to...
Beelzebub writes 03/26/98
His habits were worse than debatable;
His temper was horrid and hatable.
One love had this man:
His wife, Mary Ann;
And she was both dumb and inflatable.
What went 5-6-5 quite recently?
A misdialed phone call on TV?
No, what 5-6-5 makes
Is how many Great Lakes
Congress thought, then rethought, there should be!
KJR writes 03/25/98
I once met this girl from down under
With a voice like the rolling of thunder
Two horns and a tail -- Can
She be an Australian?
What the hell -- it's a logical blunder.
You can only catch mad cow disease
From an unhappy cow's nasty sneeze
Even worse (and I shudder)
Is a squirt from her udder
And this is no bull, if you please.
I once met his little green man
With a right puzzled look on his pan
"Second star to the right"
Was my scheduled flight --
I won't ever fly Delta again!"
KJR writes 03/25/98
Oh, father! I have a confession!
But won't tell you with whom I've been messin'
He replied, "Is it Sandy
Or Julia, or Mandy?"
AndI got three good leads from one session!
A nutty young woman quite manic
Sailed off on the good ship Titanic
The iceberg - it stunned her
And as she went under
Her manic attack became panic!
Sumaq writes 03/24/98
Don't you love the American way
Where freedom and justice have sway?
Until guilt is proved
You're an innocent dude
Unless you're elected today.
I don't have the slightest desire
To sing in political choir
Where guilt is assumed
No innocence tuned
And the score is by hot tongues of fire!
I suspect that it's not low inflation
But gossip that runs this great nation.
What a hunger have we
The next scandal or three
Give us something for our mastication.
It's not that we all have desire
To see politicians on fire,
Its just that the news
Has no way to cruise
Unless it can steep us in mire.
The poet comments, "Sorry, y'all, I've just been bored with political news of late."
RenWa writes 03/24/98
Rush Limbaugh is on day and night,
Espousing his views from the Right.
He loves making waves,
So he rants and he raves.
Which causes the Left to ignite!
Some callers to Art Bell are weird.
Some funny, some crazy, some feared.
Conspiracies abound.
And most are unsound,
Like those where the aliens appeared...
The guy was a real vigilante.
I refer to the poet named Dante.
If you didn't do well,
He'd throw you in Hell.
(He would do just the same for his aunty.)
Ystap writes 03/24/98
Said Ophelia to the prince, "Now, look, Hamlet,
I do not find mirth in this gambit!
The nunnery sounds grim,
But methinks it's your whim,
I like it sir, NOT! Not a damn bit!"
The poet comments, "More apologies to The Bard."
Thrown up on the shore from the sea,
The starfish lay, looking at me.
It watched as I pondered
Its fate, and I wondered
What it's like to swim off and be free?
For a movie in which an old grunt
Finds a waitress who softens his front
And whose oneness with pets
Is as good as it gets
There were Oscars for Nicholson, Hunt!
Yeah, like Jack needed another one. Yeah for Helen Hunt, though, who gave the nicest
speech of the evening.
You can only catch mad cow disease
Eating beef ... but from pork pie 'n' peas
You can catch mad pig 'flu
And from eating lamb stew
You can catch mad sheep sickness with ease!
(On the subject of steak and pork rib
Vegetarians can be very glib ...
We're just jealous that meat
Now's so darn cheap to eat
While they've hiked veggie prices -- no fib!)
There was a young man from Accra
Who once ran exceedingly far
But he ran without knowing
Just where he was going
And came first in the Paris – Dakar!
Eleison writes 03/24/98
The Oscars - the talk of the town,
Each star in tuxedo or gown.
But something went wrong,
And the show took as long
As Titanic took in going down!
The poet comments, "This is what happens when I stay up too late to watch the Oscars..."
Toast Point poo-poos comments about the Oscars being too long. It's part of the fun, staying up til one! (on a Monday night).
There’s one thing I’m willing to bet
The taxman cannot always get
Those who don’t send returns,
And it neither concerns
Me, cause he ain't nabbed me ye-...
Pandora writes 03/23/98
I once met this little green man
On a flight from the States to Japan
“Prane make sick – prease exceuss,
Me, I read Dr. Seuss,
And I not much rike green eggs and ham.”
The poet comments, "Is the suggested line supposed to read 'his' instead of 'this' ?"
Er...no.
The Bard Of Wauconda writes 03/23/98
There was a young man from Perth
Who always slept in the upper berth
When asked for the reason
Said - "there's no good season"
To be "down under" in Perth!
The poet comments, "just for fun - none."
FCA writes 03/23/98
I once met this little green man -
He'd had a mishap with a paint-spraying can.
His partner, Ollie, said "Yes
Yet another fine mess
You have now got us into", to Stan.
There once was a young vampire sprout,
Whose fangs were all twisted about,
He said "I am starving
From this inside-out carving,
'Cause I put in more blood than get out!"
Beelzebub writes 03/22/98
I am not the Dark Lord, damn your eyes.
That's my boss Satan, Father of Lies
(And Darth Vader, mayhap,
If you like Lucascrap);
But I am the Lord of the Flies!
The poet comments, "The exclamation point is mine, for a change.
Conflation of Me with a certain Pennsylvania Ave. zipper, or the resident(s) thereof, could have unpleasant consequences."
The photo was made with panache.
The phellow who made it had dash.
The camera was philled
With philm, and I'm thrilled.
There was no need to set off the phlash.
The poet comments, "I want a gold star. No phooling."
Oh, all right...
Ystap writes 03/21/98
I love to hear Joe play the blues,
His technique says it all, and behooves
Any newbie sax player
To kneel down in prayer
Vainly trying to learn all Joe's grooves!
Ystap shares a classic 03/21/98
Immortality: a toy people cry for,
On their knees dispute, contend, even lie for,
And, were they allowed,
Would surely be proud
To eternally apply for, even die for.
The poet comments, "With poetic license to fit the limerick rhythm...author unknown."
Sumaq writes 03/20/98
I once met his little green man
"From Mars," he said smiling, "You can
Press my left ventricle,
Tickle my tentacle,
Or you can just shake my hand!"
Beelzebub writes 03/20/98
A family lost in a fog
Were swallowed right up in a bog;
And, still more absurd,
They were not disinterred
Till their bones were dug up by a dog!
Nuffin writes 03/19/98
There once was a camel named 'Grump'
Who was known for his gigantic hump;
But I just heard a rumor,
He's developed a tumor,
After surgery, he'll just have a bump!
I once met his little green man
Who said ‘walk’ just as fast as you can
But first look left and right
Especially at night
Or you’ll end up as flat as a pan!
Hush, hush and whisper who dares
Christopher Robin’s not saying his prayers
There’s a cat on the mat
Hey, just fancy that!
And there’s blood all the way up the stairs!
Beelzebub writes 03/18/98
In the CIA's secretest labs,
They've developed a new breed of crabs
Which tickle and itch
Like a son of a bitch;
If you want some, they're down there for grabs.
The poet comments, "The Sage's gracious attention is respectfully called to the fact that
this, like most of the others, ends with a period, not an exclamation point."
Consider the Sage's attention called. The Dark Lord's punctuation will not be edited further.
Ystap writes 03/18/98
Oh, father! I have a confession!
I've opened a kissing concession!
The price is one dollar,
And I hope to collar
A man with a likewise obsession!
The surgeons must read so that they'll
Keep abreast of each tiny detail.
As I lay on the table,
I was feeling unstable,
'Cuz my surgeon was reading in Braille!
You can only catch mad cow disease
If you eat beef from other countries ...
Or give Texans a break
And eat lots of the steak
Oprah's show caused to rot in deep freeze!
98.5 writes 03/17/98
While sitting there, twiddling his thumbs
President Bill exclaimed, "I'm feeling kind of glum
I'm even kind of numb
This time Congres has overstepped its boundary
They've made me tattoo GOVERNMENT PROPERTY-KEEP OFF on my tummy."
The poet comments, "I think the President's private life is ONLY his and Hilary's business."
It's spring, and the flowers are blooming
A young man's thoughts are booming
His pulse is racing
His eyes are tracing
The path through the woods where that fox just went zooming.
The Sage gently points the poet towards the Hints on Limerick Form page.
Rita writes 03/17/98
So, you want me to write a limerick,
And if I do, you'll think I'm a Mick.
But I've got news for you;
To Scotland, I'll be true,
'Cause corned beef and cabbage makes me sick!
The poet comments, "I had to make up a limerick for a St. Patty Day luncheon at our office, but I am Scottish."
The Wumpus was wondering why there were Scottish bagpipers in the NY St. Patrick's day parade...
I keep a Red Wolf in my kitchen.
It keeps the hubby from bitchin'.
When he starts to complain-
Wolf reminds him again
Of the last time his leg needed stitchin'!
The poet comments, "Don't tell any government animal do gooders about Rascal the endangered wolf.He sleeps on the couch all day-and at night hits the nearby swamp where he conducts his red wolf breeding program. He said he doesn't need federal assistance."
He said,"I didn't inhale,
I wouldn't tell a tale.
I did get a whiff
That gave me a lift
But Hillary just turned pale!"
Anonymous writes 03/17/98
While sitting there, twiddling his thumbs
A fat man too loudly hums.
Says his wife, quite distressed:
"I would never have guessed
That my word in all this is just 'Mum's.'"
Enjoying a trip on "Titanic"
Were people quite megalomanic.
There were humble poor, too
Down on decks out of view,
But everyone joined in the panic!
I once met his little green man
By the name of Eddie McMahon
A bridge painter was he.
Spraying paint, don't you see,
He got more on himself than the span!
You can only catch mad cow disease
If you dine on their meat at your ease.
It's really a fad,
With the cows going mad.
Not a thing I would like, if you please.
Oh, father! I have a confession!
Said Maude, and I've learned a good lesson:
Stealing stuff is great fun,
Until you are done.
What is hard is the full restitution!
It's spring, and the flowers are blooming
Our lawns and our shrubs we're a'grooming.
I think it's quite nice
Now that gone's all that ice
And that snow and we're harvest assuming.
Sumaq writes 03/17/98
I once met this girl from down under
Whose heritage split me asunder
She from Alice Springs
And Sydney. She sings:
"I am Alice and Sydney's great wonder."
The poet comments, "..but it came too easy. I may have read this somewhere."
I once met this girl from down under
Who was splitting atoms asunder
"Atom smashing's great fun!"
Said this active nun,
"Truly God's good creation's a wonder."
The Friar writes 03/16/98
Humankind an ingenious lot?
With our computers, I rather think not
We shall cause our demise
Armageddon arise
When we once again hit the year dot!
Another Y2K prophet, eh?
A child of the universe – I’m one
And living on earth sure is fun
I take with much pride
My free annual ride
A colourful trip ‘round the sun!
‘Test tube baby’ - procedure quite new
Some folk welcome and some folk eschew
What have we right here?
Embryo belvedere
Described as a ‘womb with a view’!
Now the Pope, who has very old hips
Can't bend down, on arrival, on trips
But his urge to kiss ground
Has remained so profound
They instead raise the earth to his lips!
Beelzebub writes 03/15/98
A myopic, but amorous rake
Found his paramour's bodice was fake.
He peered at her face,
Then exclaimed, "In that case,
I have made a most dreadful mistake."
Ystap writes 03/15/98
"Gold Star" is the stuff of my dream,
But its absence, awake, makes it seem
That rhyming this stuff
Is exceedingly rough,
And the Sage concentrates on the theme.
The poet comments, "Maybe a "blue star" for effort and persistence, oh Holy One???"
The Sage refuses to be swayed by entreaties, but encourages the poet to keep it up.
I wrote, once, to SETI, last Spring,
Believing I could find the thing
Which eludes all who try,
Scanning sounds from the sky,
And the message from "THEM" I would bring!
The poet comments, "This didn't win the SETI contest either, boo-hoo!"
Ystap writes 03/14/98
Never pass up a chance to shut up,
Your audience will drink from your cup,
When you pull them up short
With an edited retort
They'll wonder to what you are up!
Your psychic has planned out your weekend,
Says not to go off of the deep end
And buy things not needed
His advice should be heeded
So you won't be tempted to overspend!
The cat in my hat is named "Bugsy,"
She answers as well to "McFugsy,"
When she's on the prowl
All the other cats yowl
Because "Bugsy" plays kissy and hugsy!
Forgetting your troubles is doable,
And paying the bills is eschewable,
So don't lose your sleep
Because some bleeping creep
Tries to make your life ever un-screwable!
Sumaq writes 03/14/98
Brother Dennis the short did decree
Listing years as B.C. and A.D.
But this Christian most brief
Erred in his belief
For the Lord was born near 6 B.C!
Brother Dennis the Short was a hero
Counting years not from Rome of old Nero
But from good J.C.
And he erred, don't you see:
He forgot to put in a year zero!
Well, B.C., A.D. and C.E.
With B.C.E. all hope to be
Ways to speak of past time,
But at least for my dime,
B.P. for them all's just as easy.
The poet comments, "C.E.=Common Era, B.C.E.=Before the Common Era (equivalents to B.C & A.D), B.P.=Before the Present."
As centuries go in a flow
It's always a nice thing to know
The last ended '99
Which back then was quite fine,
But ours will end in '00
The poet comments, "read '99 as "nine-nine" and '00 as "oh-oh"."
Tasha writes 03/13/98
Oh, Chicken, chicken, snout of fire
Don't be such a big, big liar
Don't be rude, please be nice
Or else I'll put you on some ice!
Oh, chicken, chicken snout of fire!
The poet comments, "I wrote this last year when I was a freshmen (in high school)"
There was a boy named Joy
That is no name for a boy
So he went to town
And bought a crown
And now he's the king of La Hoy!
If you take out a home loan today
With a full thirty years to repay
You'll be owner in full
Just when gravity's pull
Sends a meteor crashing your way!
Kira writes 03/13/98
Said Joe, with a sniff, "It's incredible!
"You're saying this stuff is inedible?"
Then he gulped down a dish
Of roast venomous fish...
His demise, no surprise, still regrettable.
DrWryme writes 03/13/98
This charming New Englander
Chose our southern beach to meander.
Her, suit we confess,
Left nothing to guess,
And Sun would blush while it tanned her.
Anonymous writes 03/13/98
Most modern art seems waste of paint
Only the crude dare voice complaint
With no need for skill,
No message to spill,
They may be art - pictures, they ain't!
The poet comments, "I love limericks with a tart message, and call mine limograms."
Holding hands is a wonderful thing
Much pleasure and joy it can bring
I held one last night
With such glee and delight
Four aces, (kiss-kiss), and a king!
The poet comments, "I hope this is an improvement. If it still doesn't work - trash it. Thanks
"
Ystap writes 03/12/98
Schizophrenia beats eating alone,
It's better than having a clone.
But, if the Fois Gras
Leads to twangy patois
Then don't share your pone or your scone!
A bum asked me, "Give me a ten
'Til payday." I asked him, "that's when?"
He looked at me slow
And said, "I don't know,
You're the one working again!"
Merriam writes 03/12/98
There once was a handsome Samoan
In love with a cute protazoan
But when he discovered
Both genders were covered
He said, "Ma'am....uh, sir....., I'll be goin'!!
You'll admit that it is quite a chore
Entertaining a phlegmatic spore.
They move, oh so slow,
And their charm doesn't show.
You'll forgive me, but they're such a bore!
The poet comments, "From my science perm days."
Al Willis shares a classic 03/12/98
He was always correcting her grammar.
He said, when she said with a yammer,
"The reindeer are falling."
"The rain, dear, IS falling."
She beat him to death with a hammer.
The poet comments, "By Laurence Perrine in A Limerick's Always a Verse"
A limerick that isn't obscene
Has a right to be written and seen.
The fauna and flora
Are no match for Gomorrah,
But, for once, here's a poem that is clean.
A hand is a wonderful thing
Such pleasure and joy it can bring
But it helps quite a lot
If you hit the right spot
With four aces, some luck and a king!
Beelzebub writes 03/11/98
A skeptic alone in her bed
Was haunted by half of a head;
But her reason gave way
When she found out next day
That its owner was not very dead!
Karina writes 03/10/98
NASA thinks that its rover on Mars
Beams back pictures of Mars rocks and spars
But the Martians they mucked up
Rover's 'lectronic hook up
Now the rover sends back avatars!
The poet comments, "'Specially for Professor M-G"
I caught a Tube into London with ease
A destination for most Japanese
At Underground Piccadilly
The announcement most silly
Should rather say ‘Mind the Jap Please!’
A hillbilly from West Virginia
Has few rhymes, save one name that’s - ‘Lavinia’
If you add ‘O’ & ‘Bugle’
Two words I use frugal
They make anagram rhyme ‘bougainvillea’
Rasta Rickey writes 03/09/98
A Toast Point reader with insight
Was asked about stocks and to shed light
I haven't a clue, Sir
In reading the future
And have to rely on my eyesight!
wasi writes 03/09/98
A gay lost his boots in a game...
Of soccer (and futbol's the same).
He had bared both his feet
For relief from the heat
Those pecs, shorts and thighs were to blame!
Al Willis writes 03/09/98
You know all about H2O,
And you bragged about how you can row.
But the boat was upset
And I think you're all wet,
That's the end of this braggadoccio!
Said the March Hare to Alice, "More tea?" ...
"All move down, to make more cups dirtEE,"
Said the Hatter. "It's Carroll
Who is over a barrel --
He'll be left to wash dishes, not me!"
Forgive me for my lack of shyness
To question your comment on guy-ness,
But Eire's color is green,
And St. Patrick no queen,
Else the day would be called St. Her Highness!
Yeah, yeah, and when you say "Up the Irish", that isn't what you mean, either. What to do...
Just Joe B. writes 03/07/98
The incomp'rable rabbit Bugs Bunny
Made a vow that seemed strangely funny
"I'm swearing off carrots
And instead eating ferrets
So my pellets won't be quite so runny!"
Beelzebub writes 03/07/98
A pansy, a pimp and a ponce
Drew their weapons in darkest Provence.
The ponce and the pimp
Came over all limp,
And the pansy escaped, for the nonce.
One trusts it is no longer true
That you do what you once used to do;
And I hope it's a lie
That these days you try
To do certain other things, too.
I am proud to invoke the demise
Of this fool, whom we all so despise.
When the bell rings, we'll start
To rip him apart;
Bags I for his balls and his eyes!
The poet comments, "Damn! Mellowing out again."
Sumaq writes 03/06/98
St. Petersburg's summer is gay:
Golden domes take the sun's bright array
And cast it around
Costing ruble nor pound
Throughout the night's Arctic day!
Three funny young men on a train
Kept singing the same old refrain:
"While the summer is up,
Let us sing, drink and sup,
And when winter is over: Again!"
Beelzebub writes 03/06/98
A tempting young opera singer
Had on her left hand a sixth finger.
But she wasn't distressed,
For the digit possessed
A deadly extensible stinger!
All sopranos have those, but usually in the tongue!
What did Einstein, while driving one night
At a speed so much faster than light
In his mirror observe
That near caused him to swerve? ...
His very own headlights, on bright!
The poet comments, "Take 2"
Anonymous writes 03/06/98
There are two sections to this site,
The NAUGHTY and the RIGHT,
And if you feel
It is cool for real
Forward this note tonight!
The poet comments, "I gave this site a link in the daily hot links at
http://www.quoteaday.com"
Why, thank you! Wondered about the jump in submissions...
I say that when push comes to shove,
Illegals should not get our love.
But if she's like Selena,
I'd like to detain 'er,
So, forget what I said just above!
Ystap writes 03/05/98
Bill Gates says that he has NO edge,
His system is merely a wedge
To make your PC
Jump up and say "Whee!"
EI is the "fix," that's his pledge!
The poet comments, "Netscape, where are you?"
As 2000 comes ever closer,
Will computers crash? Then, what will occur?
Will all systems fail?
Will we end up in jail?
Are your taxes paid? Yes, sir or No, sir?
The poet comments, "Guess we'll just have to wait and see!"
The first thing we do, Dick tells Cade,
Let's kill all the lawyers, they've made
Our lives so unbearable
So this vow is swearable,
I'll do it with a nick from my blade!
The poet comments, "With apologies to the Bard and Henry VI!"
Anonymous writes 03/05/98
On Saturday night, up on Mars..
We sing and play our guitars.
'Snot much different from earth
Except there's a dearth
Of our favorite Cuban cigars!
The Friar writes 03/05/98
I hopped on that button like a bunny
Not only to make TP money
But to post and to see
Our Limericks for free
The good and the bad and funny!
The poet comments, "Keep up the cool, free contest!"
Bravo, Brother Friar, for your support!
Two cannibals were eating a clown
(From a wreck, but alas didn’t drown)
One looked at the other
And said “My dear brother,
This tastes funny – I can’t keep it down!”
Albert Einstein was driving one night
When he reached a speed faster than light
Then he took a quick peek
In his mirror, and ... "Eek!" --
For his headlights weren't dipped, but on bright!
Ystap writes 03/03/98
A pen-friend sent words of encouragement,
My limericks, to him, were worth mentionment.
But if he only knew
How i wrestle and stew
Over words before one lim'rick's ever sent!
The poet comments, "Lim'ricks-R-Me!"
A leprechaun stopped me today,
Shook my hand, smiled, then went on his way.
He carried a sack
Like a hump on his back,
What was in it, he never did say!
The poet comments, "Lot's 'o Irish luck, I hope!"
On Patty's Day, there's Sean O'Malley
Guzzling Guinness alone in an alley.
How much he can drink
I really can't think,
And O'Malley, he never keeps tally!
The poet comments, "Too-ra-loo-ra-hic!"
Oh, yes, that drunken gay-unfriendly festival is coming up, isn't it?
Beelzebub shares a classic 03/03/98
As the good ship Titanic went down,
A lady in shimmering gown
From her glass took a sip,
Kept a stiff upper lip,
And commenced, most discreetly, to drown.
If your light turns to red and you stop
You won't care who hides back of a shop.
But if you race on through
Your next light may be blue
Flashing "Stop!" on the top of a cop!
A railroad without any trains?
A highway without any lanes?
I cannot conceive
Or even believe
A Mensan without any brains!
The poet comments, "I see Pentatette picked up some Toast Point gems, but not mine!"
Toast Point comments that he has met many Mensans with brains, but no common sense.
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