The Toast Point Limerick Contest
Brady Bunch Limericks
1999 Entries
Here's the story...of a bunch named Brady...
That squeaky-clean family, the Bradys
Were sent to us straight out of Hades
Their suburban palace
And housekeep named Alice
All serve to make Toast Point a Fraidy!
last updated May 14, 1999
When Marcia embraced Davy Jones
What she felt made her blush to her toes
She was quick and discreet
But it made her feel neat
For the thing that she felt was his pete.
Marsha and Greg were feuding
Over who gets the attic's rooming
At first Greg won
And Marsha did cum
And greg let her have it, mooning.
The poet comments, "in the actual episode all the kids were involed in the
feud......"
Valerie writes 04/28/99
My favorite character is Mike
Who bought Bobby Brady a bike
But that little man
Ran over Jan
And then she turned into a dyke!
Jennifer L. Kemshaw writes 04/13/99
There once was a lady named Alice
Who dreamed of a wonderful palace
She became an old nanny
That grew a big fanny
And now is known as calis!!!
The poet comments, "I was going to use the "when Marcia embraced Davy Jones" But WHATEVER"
Swordfish writes 04/05/99
The youngest female Brady child
Wanted to be older and wild
From Friday through Sunday
Put fish in her undies
And said "Now I'm like Marsha", and smiled!
He made safety patrol at his school
But Bobby was nobody's fool
If he saw an infraction
Just give him some action -
You'd get off if you got on his tool!
The whole party had just stopped to stare
At Jan with her new afro hair
She cut out a bald spot
Used that hair for her twat
Her snatch looked like the "bunch" called "Hair Bear"
In the bathroom the Brady kids share
Peter often would jerk-off in there
Je was stroking his cock
But forgot the door lock
Then Jan entered and he moussed her hair!
Football bounced off her nose, what a sin
In her mind Marsha played it again
But the thought made her sick
'Cause she'd rather have dick
In her mouth while balls bounced off her chin!
Carol Martin, the new Brady bride
Had three young blonde girls by her side
She sold them as toys
To the young Brady boys
But charged extra to let them inside!
For Mike Brady three boys ain't enough
So he married a houseful of muff
This great architect
Was always erect
'Cause the kids ran around in the buff
Alice, the Brady house-keeper
Would brag that no pussy was deeper
She used it for storage
Meat products to porridge
Just like a meat locker, but cheaper!
Jan and Marsh' planned a new function,
Not a Brady dinner or luncheon,
In this script never written,
To gals the girls were smitten,
And hosted a new form of Petticoat Junction.
The Bradys sure know who's the boss,
The ol' woman who gathers no moss,
But when Sam isn't givin',
The fam' will be livin',
Without pork chops and applesauce.
I think Sam the Butcher might be Greek.
He deals with those Brady's week after week after week
Little Bobby will taunt,
For it's Alice he wants
And that's why he says, "Hey anybody want any Meat!?"
Anonymous shares a classic 02/27/99
While mowing the Astroturf lawn,
And Marcia looked over the dawn
The Bradys all said
"Let's give her some head"
And they all did that all weekend long!
Norand writes 02/27/99
Is Alice a bulldyke or what?
We've seen how she looks at the lot
Not Peter or Greg
But at Marcia's leg
And prays fervently for a shot!
The poet comments, "Hope it doesn't suck too bad"
Kitty Carryall writes 02/19/99
Cindy and Bobby were slighted
To a wedding they were not invited
To the see-saw they go
In hopes Guiness will show
That they refuse to be spited!
Morgie writes 02/10/99
While pressing her bell-bottomed pants
Marsha decided to dance -
She brushed out her hair
And said "I don't care
If Doug Simpson doesn't give me a glance!"
The poet comments, "Some of your poems are sick!!!!
but keep on writing!!!!!!!!!!"
Natasha writes 02/10/99
While mowing the Astroturf lawn,
Before the break of dawn
Jan hit the rake
And swallowed a stake
And now her tonsils are gone!
The poet comments, "this is cool "
Dugan writes 02/02/99
"It's Marsha that's loved all the time!"
Said Jan on the phone to her mind.
"She is such a whore
My mom should learn more
Of when she went down on Billy Verine!"
While mowing the Astroturf lawn,
Greg met a cute girl named Ruth Dawn
He said: "Hey groovy chick,
How'd you like me to stick
Something in you that's big, hard, and long?!"
The poet comments, "Sorry to be so vulgar."
Whacked writes 01/13/99
The kids' bathroom toilet is missing
Twas last seen by greg, while pissing
Marcia exlaimed
Nay, loudly proclaimed
"On what will greg and I do our kissing?"
D T writes 01/12/99
With expertise in architecture
Mike Brady could give a fine lecture
On the erection of houses,
But did I mention his spouse is
A pro at erecting the pecker?
The poet comments, "Rhymes are not perfect but..............."
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