The Toast Point Limerick Contest
Brady Bunch Limericks
Here's the story...of a bunch named Brady...
That squeaky-clean family, the Bradys
Were sent to us straight out of Hades
Their suburban palace
And housekeep named Alice
All serve to make Toast Point a Fraidy!
Last updated December 30, 1997
1997 Entries
Mike Brady the ladies do say
Likes sex 2 times every day!
But he meant no malice
When he knocked up Alice -
He explained, "She was an incredible lay!"
Murfdog writes 11/30/97
When Marcia embraced Davy Jones
She was watched by her sister Jan
Who herself could not get a man
So she played with her cones
And imagined Bobby pumping her bones.
Oh, Murfdog, it's AABBA, not ABBAA. (that's ABBA Anonymous).
Dirt Bag Joe writes 11/29/97
Though Marsha's bathroom door had a lock,
When pissing, little Bobby would flock.
He'd look and he'd see,
Marsha taking a pee.
All while stroking his cock.
Here's a story that really ain't too nice
If you now saw the cast, you'd look twice
Now Carol's got money
And Jan is a honey
And the house is infested with mice!
Swordfish writes 11/21/97
Mike Brady worked hard every day
But his wife didn't know he was gay
It was Greg who had taught him
Then Carol had caught him
With Bobby's young "peter" at play!
When Carol was fucking with Mike,
There was something that she didn't like
She was sick of his phallus
So she paired off with Alice
And had sex with that wrinkled old dyke!
There once was a Brady named Greg
To Marcia for sex he would beg
For he's not enough man
For Cindy or Jan,
But Tiger loved humping his leg!
A horny young Brady named Peter
Hiked Cindy's skirt and tried to eat her
She cried out with a lisp
So he curled up his fist
Knocked her down on the floor and he beat her.
Bobby, the youngest male Brady
Spent time with a man rather shady
For Bobby, he'd dance
Without any pants
While Bobby watched, dressed like a lady!
Marcia Brady went out on a date
She was to not come home too late
She arrived home quite sick
Not from sucking a dick
But from 3 horny lesbians she ate!
A young Brady daughter named Jan
Never had a date with a man
But she got her 1st chance
At the school's springtime dance
She was raped by eight guys in a van!
Cindy Brady at the Christmas store
Sat on Santa's lap like before
Santa forced his "north pole"
In her tight little hole
And now Cindy don't lisp anymore!
Alice the housekeeping Ma'am
Was dating a butcher named Sam.
But Sam'd rather bowl
Cause Alice's hole
Reminded him too much of SPAM!
Well, that about covers them all, doesn't it?
The Brady Bunch story is untrue
The children now grown up may rob you
And Carol can't sing
And Cindy's a thing
And Mike is now deader than discue!
discue?
CrystaL writes 11/14/97
The kids' bathroom toilet is missing
So we wondered where Greg had been pissing
He said on his hand,
On the ground, in the sand
So the question is "where did it go missing?"
Greg Brady, who came from Cape Horn
Wished he had never been born.
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn!
Anonymous writes 10/22/97
I hate the whole damned Brady Bunch
And I have quite a nasty wee hunch
That when Sam sees Alice
She fondles his phallus
Then goes down on Carol for lunch!
Lanacane writes 09/26/97
In the Brady family, all were tight
And the little kids tried with all of their might
Not to become like Marsha and Greg
Seen with his head between her legs
What do they say? Looks like incest is the best!
Buck writes 09/09/97
While mowing the Astroturf lawn,
Greg noticed it took much too long
So he said to Alice
(Intending no malice)
"Earn your keep or I'll see that you're gone!"
Is Alice a bulldyke or what?
And, what's up with Tiger, the mutt?
The whole family's nuts
Even Greg's smoking butts,
I wonder if they're related to King Tut.
The poet comments, "I know this is a CRAZY limerick...but, hey...it rhymes!"
Is Alice a bulldyke or what?
She can nail a 40-foot putt.
She can kick Tyson's ass,
Land a 50-pound bass,
While a dildo is stuck up her butt!
The poet comments, "When Alice reads this she'll probably kick MY butt."
Anonymous writes 08/02/97
When Marcia embraced Davy Jones
We were treated to orgasmic groans.
It's the last Clarkesville train
They screwed out Marcia's brain
And she claims she loves all of their bones!
The poet comments, "Yes, the Monkees said it all. They do monkey around."
Megarator writes 06/13/97
Bobby & Cindy could think of no better
Way to break a Guinness Book Record
Than to see-saw in the yard,
God knows its not hard,
But it kept them from being bed-wetters!
Cindy cried, "My doll Kitty Karry ith mithing!"
but no one got it because of her lisping
(plus Carol & Alice were on tranqs)
Cindy blamed Bobby for the prank
but Tiger the dog had done all the snitching!
Greg thinks that all men drive better,
But Marcia's a feminist go-getter!
On a cone balances the egg -
Who'll break it? Her or Greg?
In the end, Greg's egg is for batter fit better!
Here's the story of a lovely lady
Whose sexual past is somewhat shady
She's mothered three girls
The youngest with curls
And now copulates with Mike Brady!
Trainman writes 04/04/97
If Mike Brady would have been thinkin'
I'm sure that he could have been sinkin'
His well-polished phallus
To the hilt into Alice
Had he not been scared of Cindy finkin'!
Brigadoony-Loony-Toony writes 04/01/97
Now Mike was a good architect
But he had trouble getting erect
Until Marcia implored
About his dick unexplored
And obliged a good suck of his peck!
Cousin Oliver's Sister Lisa writes 04/01/97
Here's the story of a brood of Bradies
With four perm-headed guys and four ladies -
There's sisters who bicker
And brothers who trick her
This would just never work in the eighties!
Summers writes 03/28/97
Is Carol's hair really that flip?
One day she went on a trip
And did fall and get a big rip
She did flip
No more going on a trip!
The Sage frowns and points Summers towards the Hints on Limerick Structure.
When Marcia embraced Davy Jones
A chill went straight to her bones!
For there in his pants
Rose a really good chance
That they'd share a couple good moans!
The poet comments, "C'mon guys... You know Marcia's a slut.
"
Barl Eardley writes 02/24/97
There once was a family named Brady
Two trollops, a whore and a lady
One trollop would suck
The other would fuck
While the whore tongued the lady named Sadie.
Trainman writes 02/17/97
Sam had found his soul mate in fair Alice.
Daily drank from her twat, like a chalice.
And his favorite mixture
from that feminine fixture?
Blood and jism, stirred twice with his phallus.
Trainman writes 02/11/97
When Greg moved up into the attic
Mike and Carol gave poor Greg some static.
But they finally gave in
And Greg started to grin
Now autoerotic would become automatic!
The kids' bathroom toilet is missing,
Greg and Marcia are kissing,
Carol is the head lady
In the family whose last name is Brady
The family the entire neighborhood is dissing!
Greg and Marcia sitting in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love.
Then comes marriage.
It's Jan and Marcia,with a baby carriage! :;)
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