The Toast Point Limerick Contest
Brady Bunch Limericks from 1995
Here's the story...of a bunch named Brady...
That squeaky-clean family, the Bradys
Were sent to us straight out of Hades
Their suburban palace
And housekeep named Alice
All serve to make Toast Point a Fraidy!
The Winners
Jonathon G. writes 8/23
When Peter and Greg pick on Bobby,
They beat him 'til his head turns knobby,
Then bugger him raw-
When he told Ma & Pa,
They said "Well, ev'ry boy needs a hobby."
Artie the Jungle Troll writes 6/12
While pressing her bell-bottomed jeans
Marcia, she primps and she preens
And Jan, with an Uzi
And nary a 'Scuse me!'
Plots Marcia's fate...smithereens.
Artie the Jungle Troll writes 6/8
When Mike went out back with the boys
To tell them they made too much noise
He found Greg in drag -
And inside his handbag
Were stuffed the most curious toys
Drayton INC writes 5/23
Now Alice sure thinks Sam is neat,
She claims his cold cuts can't be beat,
No one can bowl better
She'd sure love to get her
Hands on his large balls and his meat.
Pthirus channels Jan,
who we all know Tarazed likes better, anyhow 5/23
Bitch Marcia's out with Davey Jones
I'm alone, no boy ever phones!
She's had Desi Junior
I'd sure like to ruin her
Chance tonight to jump Monkee bones
Anonymous writes 5/22
The Brady who wore that damned tiki
Had to put up with things going freaky.
It hung round his neck
Darned the family to heck!
And Greg's surfboard was certainly leaky.
Ariel Raccoon channels Jan Brady 5/20
My dumb sister Marcia's a bitch,
And that brat sib Cindy's a snitch,
Bob Peter and Greg,
And Alice the nag,
They all should be dead in a ditch!
Honorable Mention:
Mr. Blackwell writes 6/2
Just pity our poor Mike and Carol -
Their kids have them over a barrel!
Those brats, filled with loathing
Burned up their nice clothing
And make them wear tacky apparel!
Artie the Jungle Troll writes 6/8
Cindy's a lisping annoyance.
Blond curls give me pains in the gro-ins.
Would she sink like a stone
If in water she's thrown?
I'm wondering...what is her bouyance?
Marcia and Greg had a stand-off
When he asked if she'd ever a man boff.
When Greg gave a try
To grope up her thigh
She glared and said "Greg, get your hand off."
Pthirus channels Jan 5/24
I hope that dad's job is okay,
I heard, on my way out to play,
He couldn't erect!
He's an architect!
Poor dad, he'll get it up some day.
Buckaroo writes 5/22
I wonder what Peter was doing
With Marcia; she surely was cooing
When he cried "Yeah, just thank me
After you yank me!"
All we heard after was mooing....
Tarazed writes 5/22
The scamp who stole Jan's private journal
Had something in mind most infernal!
She sobbed "My oh my!"
And she left it to dry
When she fished it up out of the urinal.
Tarazed channels the much prettier Marcia Brady 5/22
My little sis Jan is a nag
Consistently she's on the rag!
With those glasses and braces
We all know her face is
Better concealed by a bag.
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