The Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Squeaky-Clean Entries for September, 1996
Few and Far Between
Scribbler writes 09/29/96
The Republicans, at a convention,
Saw ID4 at one of their functions
Liz said to Bob
Here's how to get you that job
Bomb the White House and remove the opposition!
The Alien writes 09/25/96
I once had a little pen pal friend
Her friendship rules I never did understand
I said a few things impossible to mend
There were no more letters I could send
Our friendship came to a beautiful end.
The poet comments, "Limerickery on the run." The Sage replies, "Well, aside from the structure."
Stene Svensson writes 09/24/96
There was a young scoundrel called Ace
Whose nose was as big as his face
Whenever he blew it
It played "How d'ya do it"
And contacted life forms in space.
The poet comments, "This limerick would be better using a more well-known song with
the same amount of syllables as "How d'ya do it"."
Any suggestions?
"Howdy Doody" was suggested by Robert Davies, but it doesn't rhyme... (sorry, Robert, for the XXX - couldn't find your letter)
Quilis writes 09/20/96
Pity poor Robert J. Dole
A decent, respectable soul
But, when he took that tumble
It paralleled his tumble
In the latest CNN voter poll.
For the Kansan don't shed any tears
In the Senate he had some good years
But Clinton can smile
'Cause he'll win by a mile
And soon can announce, "FOUR MORE YEARS!"
The preacher was right full of heat
As he called on his people to beat
The temptations they face
By taking God's grace
And so had the saints on their feet!
There once was a guy without ham
Who never could open his jam.
He pulled and tugged with all his might,
But could never get it right.
Well, I guess he'll never experience SPAM!!!!!!
There was a young lad at the lake
With a build that was too much to take.
He had rippling biceps,
Pectorals and triceps,
And buttocks that had to be fake!
A nearsighted butcher named Warders
Suffered various optic disorders
And as he grew blinder
Backed into his grinder
And got a little behind on his orders.
The Republicans at a convention -
Everyone can feel the high tension.
For Elizabeth Dole
Hoping to raise Bob in the poll
For Bob she forgot to mention
A linguist from down in Berea
Told her lover,"I have an idea.
"I'm pregnant with three,
So their names shall be...
Ono and Mato and Poeia."
Govindhan Padmavijayam writes 09/06/96
Saddam never learns his lesson
Missile after missile attack his garrison
While his country is in flames,
"They'll pay for this!", he claims,
With his antique Smith and Wesson.
Arachnotron shares a classic 09/04/96
There once was a man with a beard
Who said, "Oh, it's just as I feared,
2 Larks and a hen,
3 Hawks and a wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"
Rowdy Jack writes 09/03/96
Life on Mars? In the quest, science falters -
With each probe, the scenario alters.
Are they huge hulking masses?
Or eggplants with glasses?
My hope is for Mars babes in halters!