The Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Squeaky-Clean Entries for September 1995
From Poets Who Make Their Mothers Proud
The Winners!
Beaker takes the "Botany" trophy with
An "outdoorsy" chick, fond of hikin'
Soon learned she prefered mountain bikin'.
For, when hiking on rocks
"Yuckies" stuck to her socks.
(Itchy, crisp, crunchy grungies called "lichen".)
mkolbe@goodnet.com takes the "Wild Wild West" category
The summers in Phoenix, AZ
Will cause me to search frantically
For that blessed spot
In a hot parking lot
Found under the shade of a tree
Baby Jane Hudson takes the "Perry Ellis" award
I'm thinking of giving up Fashion -
Too much skin (and I'm not fond of flashin').
I'll no longer pay
For some tired Gaultier
Just to look like I've gotten a lashin'.
Victoria sweeps the "Nintendo" category
The great battle was heavy and hot
I just had to connect with each shot.
But then, full of dread
I found myself dead,
So I put one more coin in the slot...
Honorable Mention
TKDFB12480@aol.com (Fran Bigman) writes 9/30
Computers have minds of their own
For PC'ers, this widely is known.
Windows is such a joke,
Gates' license we'll revoke,
'Cause Macintosh seeds have been sown!
Anonymous writes 9/30
A horror of pink cotton candy
Adhered to a tadpole named Mandy,
It wouldn't get OFF,
And her legs, they were lost,
And she said; I'm a frog, ain't that dandy!
Joe Dunn writes 9/22
Empty air that engulfs whispers in the night
Sits the evil in me with much despite
Who would touch me when I was alone?
Who would see me when I was blind?
Killed by a god I had lost my time
Note from the Sage - It's not a limerick, but...OK...
George Cook writes 9/20
A horror of pink cotton candy
Slipped down the throat of young Mandy.
She waved and she spluttered.
Her parents they fluttered,
But her brother he thought it was dandy.
A poet who might be Arthur writes 9/16
Said the Postmaster General, "Hurray!
I've something important to say,
The letter you send
From here to South Bend
Costs less than a penny a day."
JohnD writes 9/15
Politicos often shift role
And success goes to those without soul:
As a party moves right,
The knave becomes knight,
Though I wouldn't touch Dole with a pole.
SARA writes 9/14
There once was a man named Shaq
For b-ball he had a knack
He was really tall
And could palm a ball
And is young and gifted and black
Varnicia writes 9/1
My muffins are just so delicious
My girlfriends get jealous and vicious
When Evie said that
They made me look fat
I slapped her and broke all her dishes!
Read the Squeaky-Clean Limericks from
August or October!
Back to the Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Back to the Toast Point Page!