The Toast Point Limerick Contest!

Squeaky-Clean Entries from August...Few and Far Between

The Grand Prize Winner by Default

Wumpus writes on our 7th luniversary

There once lived a Toast Point in Queens
Who came up with most fabulous screams
He screamed and he plotted
For a Wumpus he wanted
To complete his most wondrous of dreams!

Note from Toast Point - Ooohhhh....

The Winners for August, All of Whom are Pure at Heart

Gold Star! His Peace takes the "Sports" award with:

There once was a young man from Lyme
Who scored a goal for the very first time!
The young man was glad
But his teammates were sad
'Cause he hadn't changed sides at half time!

Gold Star! Pope takes the "Current Events" category

(which he also took in the Naughty section - go figure)

Dick Armee named Barney a fag
As smooth as saluting a flag;
Whether slip or design
It was less than benign
And suggested his bent as a wag.

Gold Star! Our winner in the "D&D" category is Steven Han:

There was a plump knight named Sir Keith
Who removed his sword from its sheath
He fought for his honor
But soon was a goner
And the dragon stood picking his teeth.

Gold Star! Sister Mary Margaret Peter Norton makes the Catholic Church proud with:

There once was a nun from Nantucket
Hid skimmed alms for more RAM in a bucket
Prayed while down on her knees
"Can't those SIMMs grow on trees?
No more theft - make that tree - then I'll pluck it!"

The original of this (with graphics!) is located on the Victoria wrote both of these winners, sweeping the "Computer" category: A computer is just a machine.
You could never call it obscene.
So if you turn red,
From words that it said,
It's YOU who knows what they mean...

Eight bits or two nibbles, a byte...
It's like lunch. Hey that works! Well, it might
But bytes by the bunch
Make words. If that's lunch,
Then machines eat their words, ain't that right?

Honorable Mention

His Peace writes 8/23

There once was a parrot named Huey,
Who said,"The poems on this page are all phooey,
When you say them, your lips
Do somersaults and backflips
And end up all crumpled up at St. Louis."

Charles K Watkins

We all should know that a limerick
Is a psycological gimmerick
Through our defenses it peels
'Til our psyche it reveals
And we laugh at ourselves 'til we hemorrhage

Note from the Sage - this is lovely, until the last line, where there is no rhyme. May I suggest something on the order of...
And we laugh until seen as a lunatic.?
Not great, but closer.

Pope writes 8/11

A cuddle of butter, named Newty,
Had always been judged kind of fruity,
But then he gained power,
Perfected his glower
In a table-turn yuk, way too hooty.

Special Mention

Sister Mary Margaret Peter Norton writes 8/6

There was an old hermit named Dave,
Who kept a nun chained in his cave,
The Lord interceded -
Gave the nun what she needed,
Made Dave both her Wumpus and slave.

Note: - the original of this (with graphics!) is located on the