The Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Naughty Entries From May 1995
The Winners from May
Winning judge's honors in the "classic" category,
Artie the Jungle Troll writes 5/26
While smearing my partner with butter
She started to groan and to mutter:
"Before you do ride me
I need some inside me!"
So I greased up the shaft of my putter!
Topping the "suggestive without being explicit" category,
Dr. Bartolo writes 5/22
The exploits of Madame Nibiski
Were trashy and just a bit risky -
Among truckers she'd roam
And take each one home
After getting him bombed on cheap whiskey!
Taking home the "guffaw" category in a walk,
Drayton INC writes 5/19
We all know that tampons are spongey
And oftentimes get rather grungy
But why they have strings
Among other things
Is so that the crabs can all bungee.
And finally, in the "best rhyme" category,
Tarazed writes 5/17
A man who had more than one penis
Was renowned here and there as a genius.
Said his girlfriend, 'Although
You're no fun to blow
When you plug up both holes you're the keenest!'
Dishonorable Mention:
Artie the Jungle Troll writes 5/26
Phone sex: What's with all the fuss?
Why should I pay someone to cuss
For three bucks a minute?
There's not much sin in it
And the spunk's just a bit of a muss.
Fizzia's Evil Twin writes 5/24
I'm often quite horny and drunk,
And that beast he sure was a hunk,
Horny in the woods,
He gave me the goods,
That bear bopped me right in my trunk!
Pthirus writes 5/20
If you're one who oft chokes his chicken
And you find your digits are stickin'
Hook a wet/dry vac
Up to your nut sack
No mess! Which means less finger lickin.
Buckaroo writes 5/19
Inverting his latent perversions
he mad monk, he shouted aspersions;
He cried "I'm Rasputin
And I love rootin'-tootin'
With nuns, 'spite their animadversions!"
NOTE: Toast Point is not quite sure what this means.
Carl-Magnus writes 5/19
When attempting to *69
On the telephone, I will remind
As much as you might pout
That leaving the star out
Will not help the or'lly inclined.
Buckaroo writes 5/18
A courtesan eating falafel
Auctioned herself via raffle
She sold twenty tickets
To some Lord with rickets
Quoth he: "Ho! My chances are awful!"
Two sisters infested with crabs
Resorted to pokes and to jabs
When the elder (elated)
Said she felt obligated
To collect the small lice for the labs.
Mr. Debutts writes 5/18
One day in the Emerald Isle
A leprechaun found me nubile.
When he reached for my fanny,
Said I, very canny,
"Beat it, you old pedophile."
Anonymous writes 5/18
Tamara, that marvelous vixen
Her preference? A nasty nine-sixin'.
'Tis said that she's abled
Like timepieces fabled:
Takes a tick 'n' she keeps on licksin'.
Mr. Vance Briceland writes 5/17
A pop singer name of Madonna
Fellated cold chocolate banonas
And hauled in a hurry
Before judge and jury
Said "They're longer and harder, your honna'!"
Tim Stuby writes 5/17
A pop singer name of Madonna
Oft sits (like a virgin) upon a
Rabid old french poodle
Who chomps on her doodle
And gets soaked as if it's in a sauna.
Read the Naughty Limericks from June!
Back to the Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Back to the Toast Point Page!