The Toast Point Limerick Contest!
Naughty Entries for June 1995
The Winners, Who Have Sunk to New Depths!
In the Best Allegory Category, Oldcoach takes the prize:
Good marks for oldtimer, Omar.
Who can't raise his tent very far.
His plumbing is rusted
He can't cut the mustard
So's an expert at licking the jar.
In the Genteel Naughtiness category, Lord Chomondley Fitz-Nobbins tops it with:
I know that you'll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso -
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite naughty!
Dishonorable Mention
Michael McNeilley writes 6/26
It's stupid to call it a binge
The main line is not on the fringe
Like the touch of your hand
As I untie the tube and
Pull blood back into the syringe
HUGE Editorial Note: This ain't naughty, but it's certainly not
squeaky-clean. Mr. McNeilley informed the sage that his intention was to
write a limerick that was "not funny". The sage believes that he succeeded.
Anonymous writes 6/16
I'm no longer sure of my gender
Since the night I went out on a bender
I wrecked up the car
When I left from the bar....
From my groin they removed that darn fender.
Iris B. Gone writes 6/16
Your pussy, my dear Mrs. Slocum,
Is missing, or stolen, or brokum
I'm sorry to say
I looked forward one day
To dig in my fingers and strokum.
Eleanor Pontiuse writes 6/13
Enduring a rectal exam
Colonscopes are so cold I scream "Damn!"
He'll push and he'll pull it -
I'll just bite the bullet
And be grateful I don't have to cram!
Flabbergast writes 6/11
The pastor, ignoring his vows
Made altar boys practice their bows
And gaining admission
By their angled position
Just slid right on up there, the louse!
Tim the Autobiographical writes 6/7
In Vancouver a new married pair
Settled down in their S&M lair
Decor was a snap
With the whips, chains, and flaps
But the drapes were a bit of a bear.
Artie the Jungle Troll writes 6/5
Twin sisters - Awana, Anita
Never swallowed the cream from the meat-a
One chose to spit
When her mouth filled with it,
And the other liked hers on a pita.
Yagno's Train writes 6/3
When eating a veggie beware
Be sure you're proceeding with care
*CHOMP*LICK* Ooh what fun,
And now that you're done
Help her back up to her wheelchair.
Note from Toast Point: Ewwwwwwww!
Read the Naughty Limericks from
May or July!
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