The Toast Point Bad Fiction Contest
proudly presents:

 PEAK OF PASSION, PINNACLE OF DESIRE: a Mountaineer Romance Novel by Paisley Harristweed and Velveeta Perrone

Last updated May 12, 1997

Chapter One

Part 2

Velveeta Perrone continues 1/17

So it was unremarkable that Sofie Mae remained completely uninterested in the gentleman who had purchased the forty-acre spread at the foot of Widow's Peak from her first (and second) cousin Floyd, although the new arrival in town certainly had the town atwitter. A city feller hailing from the far east (Richmond, Virginia, a state capital!), the gentleman in question, who introduced himself as "Bertram Lindenwood, but you can call me Bertie", amazed the locals with his odd accent, shirts with no holes and far too many buttons, and the little tape recorder he carried everywhere with him.

"Strange feller, probl'y onodem homaseckshuls" opined Jake, proprietor of Dusty's Tavern, spitting into the peanut shells on the floor. "He asked me for some weird kinda beer - rock'n'roll or something-like, and axed if he could tape me? He sez he studies dialectical speech or somtin. I told him to get lost and all we had was Budweiser like any man would drink."

Picture: Kix Dunkin Kix Dunkin nodded wisely. The town's only law enforcement, he wore his name proudly. "I kicked my momma in the womb, and that's why she named me Kix, and I'm gonna kick your butt now!" was his favorite (and frequently-recited) speech, aimed at the town's occasional lawbreaker, usually bored kids tipping cows. "Yeah, but he lives right at the foot of Widow's Peak, and look what happened to Sofie Mae's lil' sister! Something about them Strunks likes the weird ones."

To Chapter One, Part 3

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